387 Steps (Faraway, So Close)

Grant Heston | August 20, 2024

The past few days marked the 18th “freshman move-in” experience of my higher ed career. However, it’s my first as a parent and not just a university administrator.

Oh, the difference.

If in the past I ever looked askance at parents wiping away tears after leaving their student’s dorm room, shame on me. Never again.

Because of my job, I’ve typically focused on new students during this transition. How many of them, where they’re from and what they mean to the university.

This experience has showed me how important it is for universities to include parents and families in the equation. And how to help them manage the pride -- and, at least for me, sadness -- of their students’ transitions into true independence and adulthood.

In 2013, the late columnist Michael Gerson wrote one of my favorite pieces ever: Saying goodbye to my child, the youngster. It’s a beautiful, poignant column about dropping his son off at college. I’ve read it at least 100 times and it still touches me with lines like this:

"That moment at the dorm is implied at the kindergarten door, at the gates of summer camp, at every ritual of parting and independence. But it comes as surprising as a thief, taking what you value most."

The other day, I did the math: 387 steps.

That’s how far away my son’s residence hall in the VCU Honors College is from my office.

“You’re lucky he’s so close," people tell me. Which, of course, is true.

Somehow, though, it feels much further.